Conversations with a Polish boy, Part 1.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

me: i am going to scream if i see another one of those hats. they are so ridiculous.
him: what? what's wrong with them? i love those hats.
me: excuse me?
him: well, yeah, i wouldn't wear it to the mall or something but i would wear it skiing.
me: you would wear that hat skiing. are you kidding me?
him: no. skiing is a time when you can just be crazy and wear whatever you want. that’s why people go skiing.
me: that is so not the reason people go skiing. that isn't even remotely close to the reason people go skiing.
him: oh really? then why do people go skiing?
me: to go skiing.
[do you think i'm being mean? because this is the hat we're talking about. yes, fake hair and all.]

me: hey, did you get my text message?
him: yes.
me: oh. why didn't you reply?
him: because your text message said, “you have the same first name as Tchaikovsky!”.... and i’ve known that my whole life.
[i mean, i feel like it still warrants a reply, but whatever.]

me: eva sent me the sweetest email earlier. it made me cry.
piotr: how long did you cry for?
[the response i was expecting was, "what did it say?".....but i should know better by now.]

him: do you like me?
me: sure.
him: lucky you.
[it's okay, i don't get it either.]

me: sometimes i still can't believe that heath ledger died.
him: who?
me: heath ledger.
him: oh yeah. he died, unfortunately.
me: ....i know. that's what i just said that.
him: yup. you were correct.

him: if i go to the US, i want to do what my friend did.  when he went to the US, he got little odd jobs. cutting the grass and chopping the wood.
me: excuse me?
him: yeah, just like little jobs here and there.
me: cutting whose grass and chopping what wood?
him: just taking care of people's houses in the area.
me:, well. i'm not sure if i can find grass-cutting and wood-chopping jobs for you. we'd be there for, like, 2 weeks, why would you want a job?
him: just to have some extra money. you know, for the bus and stuff.
me: do you think we ride buses in oklahoma?
him: why wouldn't you ride buses?
me: it's oklahoma. you can either drive a truck or a tractor. no bus.
[no, that is not true.'s kinda true.]

him: hey, whatever you do, don't buy The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo if you find the english version.
me: why not?
him: because it is poisoned.
me: poisoned?!
him: yes. it's poisonous.
me: do you mean it’s scary and you think i shouldn't read it? because the word “poisonous” doesn't really fit in this context.
him: no, i mean it is literally hazardous to your health.
me: ………….how.
him: there are little white worms in all of the pages. it’s all over the news. a german book factory was infested with these little worms and they are so small that you can’t see them. apparently, they are pulling that book from the shelves all over bookstores in germany because they’re all infested.
me: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? that is disgusting!
him: i know. so just promise me you will NOT buy it.
me: ok, i won't buy it .........are you being serious, though?
him: no, not at all, i made that up but i bought it for you as part of your valentine's day present so just don't buy it, k?
me: k.
[i really did believe the worm thing.]

Megan said...

i needed this post this morning.


foreign people are so funny... silly.

Jenny N said...


-Sam I Am- said...

hahahaha... awesome.

hope you enjoy your much needed vaca :)

AbbieBabble said...

This is hilarious. I can't stop laughing. Enjoy your vacay!

Dani said...

This was so fun! After living in Lima, I have so much more respect for people in intercultural relationships. Sounds like yours is pretty hilarious!

Jan said...

Yeah, I hope you have a well deserved vacation this weekend.

danielle @ take heart said...

you make me laugh! and i am completely jealous of a valentine's five day weekend. why didn't i sign up for one of those?

kylee said...

can i pleace just tell you how much i loved reading this? so funnny. oh gosh that book worm thing totally had me going. i'm gullable i know but he sounded so convincing! this is by far one of my favorite posts. enjoy your little vaca!

Mighty Burns said...

bahaha I dont know which one to comment on! I actually said out loud reading this "Why would they ride a bus in Oklahoma?"

Erin said...

this was toooo funny!
my favorite:
"me: eva sent me the sweetest email earlier. it made me cry.
piotr: how long did you cry for?"

i've been chuckling to myself since i read it.

you guys are cute :)

Steoffrey said...

Hahah these conversations are hilarious. And let me validate you, those hats are unacceptable no matter what you're doing in them! :)

Jazzy E (Hivenn) said...

so lovely. x hivennn

Anonymous said...

I think all boys are so strange. We don't process information quite the same way. I tell my guy "tell me sweet stuff" his response is "candy, lollipops, nutella" um. yeah. :D

Brooke T said...

HAHAHAHAH you guys crack me up!!!! It's amazing the difference between two countries!

Kaitlyn said...

love it :) miss you so much. see you in 5 weeks! (i wish)

Pia said...

This made me laugh a lot! Thank you for that.

And I don't get those hats either. I hate those things!

Antoinette Musik said...

OMG he sounds sooo much like my husband! This made my day.

Young People in Love said...

bahahahaha. these are amazing convos. simply amazing. thanks for posting them :)

kimbirdy said...

haha! so many funny things here. i love this humor. and that hat is completely hideous, but i can also see people wear it on the ski slopes. not normal people, but you know, people who love dressing like the 90's.

Brenna said...

All the time I wonder if you guys ever have misunderstandings - how does he speak such good English?!!?? It's so hard for me to be "funny" in French (...ok maybe in English too...).

I was cracking up at these cute stories!

Sophie said...

hahahah this is HILARIOUS! i hope you have the best valentines weekend! x

Anonymous said...

your's and piotr's conversations seriously make my day.

Amanda @ Life with A.Co said...

OMG what just happened here?! LOL. Who IS this guy?!

A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984

Unknown said...

oh em gee jenni. I am dyyyyying over this post. piotr is hilarious. foreigners are just so darn awkward. and amazing.

side story- in panama, I told my friends grandpa on new years eve what I thought was "you look handsome tonight" ... what really translated was "you appear to be handsome tonight but not usually" ... the old stone faced man about died laughing. then he told every single person at the party. apparently, my friend says he is still telling the joke.

Eva @ Four Leaf Clover said...

This post made me crack up laughing more than a few times.

Thanks for commenting back on my blog! :) I actually don't think I've ever considered myself Polish since I've never lived there. I've been there 4-5 times for a few weeks so you've probably visited more than I have, ha!

sarah nicole said...

Hahahahaha! These convos are just too funny and cute! I am so glad that you are archiving them for future reference. I hope you have a great time in Poland! Travel safe!

leigh ann said...

Oh. my. gosh. I could not stop smiling through all of the conversations!! You have an awesome man -- the BEST ones make you laugh!
<3 leigh

this free bird said...

AHAHAHAHA!! that heath ledger one (sad as it is) totes cracked me up. and the hat? the hat is so nuts!! i hope you have a great valentine's weekend and laugh your head off (but not literally).


Unknown said...

Awwww you guys are too cute! Love the funny convos, sounds like my hubby and my randomness:-)

Shay said...

Found your blog through Bright Wishes and I am so glad I did- you are hilarious! And has anyone told you you look like Mandy Moore? You probably get that alot, but its true and a complete compliment;-)

ali v. said...

your stories always crack. me. up.

have so much fun on your vacay--I AM SO JEALOUS.

much love, my dear! xoxo {av}

Anonymous said...

This just made me laugh out loud!! You guys are too cute!! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

size too small said...

yikes that hat is horrifying. they wear that in europe?

k said...

OMG this is was the best treat ever!!! I was momentarily freaking about the dragon tattoo book because i just bought the last one, haha :) And yeah, people should not wear that hat - ever.

jackiek said...

this is hilarious! p.s I look through your pictures and it makes me want to go there even more now! they're lovely.

Sher said...

Lol! But I have to agree with you on the hat, it's quite hideous:P


Anait said...

Your stories always make me laugh out loud. And I'm usually reading them in a coffee shop which makes people turn and look at me like I'm a lunatic. But at least I dont wear heels to the gym! ;)

the runaway romantique said...

What a hilarious post! He sounds so funny, even though he might not mean to be hehe :) I love the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo story and I really believed it as well! Have a great weekend, sweetie!


Alex said...

I'm finally caught up! haha
Have a lovely Valentines weekend in Poland!

Chelsea Finn said...

Haha, oh my goodness. This made me laugh so hard. You have no idea how much I needed a good laugh right now. Haha.
I hope you enjoy your vacation. <3

<3Chelsea Elizabeth

Chelsea Finn said...

Oh yah, and I DEFINENTLY agree with you on that hat. Haha.

Ashley said...

hahaha awwwh this post made my day! You two crack me up. :)

ahlin said...

oh man you guys are hilarious

Abby said...

Ok. That bus ride conversation. Been there and done that (I think 10000000 times.) My (Swedish) boyfriend and I went back to America (for his first time) and he did not understand 1. why we had no public transportation (even when he saw how far away I lived from everything!) and 2. why we would not go to the downtown part of the city. He REFUSED to believe me when I told him that there were only banks, nightclubs, and homeless people down there and that if you wanted to do any shopping you had to go somewhere else.

Loved these conversations, they are ah-mazing!

r a c h e l . said...

"How long did you cry for".....bahahahah BEST random response EVER!

kellichristinecase said...

so funny i love this! how long did you cry for? and those bueno.

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