Conversations with a Polish boy, part 5.

me: these grapes taste disgusting. do not eat them.
him: oh, that's because they are too young. wait until they get a little older. then you can eat them.
(language barrier? what language barrier?)

me: fisiu expects to be carried everywhere. how can a dog be so spoiled?

him: jenni, fisiu is old. please think about that next time before you judge him.

(i cannot stress to you how serious he was when he said this to me.)

(speaking of fisiu....)

piotr: fisiu only throw ups because my mom feeds him meat.
me: no, he throws up.
him: i know, he throw ups because my mom feeds him meat and he is almost 15 years old....he can't handle that kind of food anymore.
me: piotr, he throws up because your mom feeds him meat, not -
him: i know. he throw ups every time...that's what i just said....you're not listening.

him: would you like to have jajecznica (scrambled eggs) for dinner?

me: sure. actually, can you take a piece of toast and cut out the middle part and then fry an egg in the middle?

him: what? how am i supposed to do that? just, like, with a knife?

me: no, a biscuit cutter. or the top of a glass.

him: what's a biscuit cutter?

me: what you use to cut biscuits. oh! you should make biscuits.

him: why would you ever eat biscuits with eggs?

me: nooooo, not cookies. stop knowing british english. in american english, "biscuits" are different. they are so good. they're like, really warm and soft and floury and my sister makes the best kind with cheese and actually, i made some really good biscuits last week with yogurt. oh my gosh - they were so good, piotr.

{silence}

him: so.....how do scrambled eggs sound?

me: sounds great.

(it's okay, wasn't really expecting to win that battle anyway.)

him: hey, is it true that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues?

me: excuse me?

him: i've heard that a lot of girls in america have daddy issues.

me: who'd you hear that from?

him: barney stinson.

(i have no response to this one.)

me: could you please not roll your eyes so much when you're talking to me? it's hard to take you seriously because you look really funny when you do it.

him: it's something i've done my whole life when i'm annoyed with people, i can't stop now. no one else has ever had a problem with it.

me: your whole life, really? even when you were younger and your parents were scolding you about something, you'd roll your eyes at them?

him: yeah, is that weird?

me: well....i just know that in my country, rolling your eyes while someone else is talking to you is very disrespectful.

him: oh, in my country, it's not. in poland, it's kinda like saying "i don't agree with what you're telling me, but i respect your opinion anyway".

(yeah, i'm sure that's what it means in poland.)

(fyi: many girls in poland are named 'blueberry' - the polish word for blueberry, that is).

me: cherry yogurt or blueberry yogurt?

him: cherry.

me: you never choose blueberry.

him: well, if your ex-girlfriend was named blueberry, you'd choose the cherry yogurt too, now wouldn't you?

aaaaaaaand i leave you with that.