one of the worst decisions i’ve ever made

Sunday, September 4, 2011

was the time i decided to fly home to america for a little summer visit, exactly one month ago today.
the decision to visit home in and of itself was not bad at all; in fact, it was an excellent alternative to spending a month emptying my bank account all over europe (that gets old sometimes).
what had me questioning my sanity was how i got home.

my itinerary looked a little something like this:
thursday, august 4.  23:00 – fly from wroclaw, poland to london england.
thursday, august 4.  24:00 – land in london, england at stansted international.
friday, august 5.  1:30 – take stansted express (coach/bus) to london heathrow.
friday, august 5.  3:00 – arrive at london heathrow, head straight for the toilets.
friday, august 5. 3:01 – after being thoroughly confused by the bathroom lock, hope nobody walks in.
friday, august 5. 3:03 – after being thoroughly confused by how to flush the toilet, hope nobody cares.
friday, august 5.  5:15 – after 2 hours of trying (and failing) to sleep on a bench, how ‘bout some breakfast at a fancy french restaurant?
friday, august 5.  7:15 – after 2 hours of trying (and failing) to eat that fancy french breakfast, check into flight and hope you don’t vomit all over your luggage (does anyone else get nauseous if they don’t sleep?  i start shivering and feeling like everything i eat or drink is poison).
friday, august 5. 8:00 – upgrade to business class for only 50 pounds to avoid spending a 9 hour flight in the middle seat of the middle row, between 2 people you don’t know. 
friday, august 5. 10:00 – board your plane and fly to new york! and even though everyone you have ever met has warned you time and time again that the movie just go with it will be the biggest waste of your time, watch it anyway.  and then curse yourself for dismissing all those warnings.  watch water for elephants directly afterward (maybe this will make up for it?) and wonder to yourself:  a) why is rob pattinson’s polish accent so bad?! b) why does christoph waltz’s polish accent sound so german!?  oh, because he’s austrian.  c)  why is christoph waltz always strangling women?!?!  d) why did i waste my time watching just go with it when i could have been watching this?! 
friday, august 5. 13:00 (EST) – land in jfk.  goes through customs and ask yourself, WHY ON EARTH IS CHICAGO O’HARE SUCH AN EVIL AIRPORT?  jfk is a breeze!  compared to chicago, these customs procedures are a cake walk! 
friday august 5.  19:00 (EST) – after a 6 hour layover (more about that later), board your plane to dallas. 
friday, august 5.  22:00 (CST) – arrive in dallas, texas!  spend the night there (at a friend’s, luckily….a real bed!).
saturday, august 6. 9:00 – fly home to oklahoma.  and praise THE LORD when you walk through the door and realize that this awful journey home as come to an end at last!
Brooke T said...

Girl!! You're crazy but I'm so glad you're back home in a nice bed and not in the airports or the sky!

Emily, Ruby Slipper Journeys said...

Haha, I've definitely had journeys like that. Sounds appalling anyway though. Love the part about the toilet in Heathrow!

Oh, and I don't normally spam people with my posts, but given your ordeal this one might be of use to you:

Anonymous said...

ugh, that sounds terrible!

but I totally loved Just Go With It...guilty pleasure?

Taylor said...

Bless your heart for putting up with all of that down time, ugh! Layovers must be brrruuuutal. And all by yourself, too! When I went through JFKs customs i thought they were super easy too. I was surprised!

Barbara said...

Everytime I'm in Poland I think about never leaving either ha ha! But for different reasons I guess ;) I also watched Water for Elephants on my flight to London a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't actually believe Rob was speaking Polish (or trying to at least). His accent was hilariously terrible!

Barbara said...

P.S. I'm currently suffering horrible jet lag and totally agree with the lack of sleep = feeling nauseous! I always shiver when I'm over-tired too.

Jessica Holly said...

I totally feel sick when I haven't slept too!

Unknown said...

Okay, first of all WHY SO MANY LAYOVERS??? Is that normal to get to Oklahoma, cause that seems a little loco to me...and usually (oddly enough) flights get MORE expensive with each new stopping point. Blahhh...Four layovers is too much for any human to handle. Sorry you had to experience this!

<3 Daryl
Roots, Wings, and Other Things.

Unknown said...

Ugh. I hate the Chicago O'hare airport. I had to stay overnight there on my way home from London because they refused to let us on the connecting flight. They said we could've made it, but our luggage couldn't. Yuck

Megan said...

this literally makes me want to die.

and vomit.

Candice said...

oh my gosh...that's crazy!
So glad to hear that you're home though :)
Totally wish I lived closer to you..I'd so come over to visit!

Alex, Speaking Denglish said...

holy crap, and here i thought europe -> US only took a half day...

Mackenzie said...

holy bajoly. i would've gone nuts if i were you. and probably would have started talking to myself if i had to do that. no lie.

Jeneric Generation said...

That sounds so miserable.

Unknown said...

just reading that made me exhausted. i don't know if i would have made it! i wanna hear more about this layover.

Unknown said...

Wow. I thought my flights to and from Greece were annoying. haha. At least you got to upgrade to business class! :)

[eeny] said...

oh my gosh... that sounds horrible.
I already hate it if I have one connecting flight to catch and hated when I had a layover for only a litte over 3 hours in atlanta.
hope your flight home was better.

Rebecca said...

On the way home from London last year, it was so freakin' cold in that plane, I thought I was going to DIE.

And...I'm sorry Chicago was a crappy airport for you. Boooo......! I don't live in Chicago but that's the airport I fly in/out of.

Alex said...

Oh lordy. What a crazy adventure! Can't wait to hear about your trip home. It's weird thinking of you being in the U.S.

Abby said...

I am exhausted just reading that!! and yes I get nauseous when I don't sleep. I've decided that I can't do early flights because it will take me a whole day to recover. lol I'm such a baby.

Jan said...

I'm so glad you made that journey.

Mighty Burns said...

Ahhhh you are my hero how did you do this lol
{love confusing bathroom door lock lol I hate those!}

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