what a 6 hour layover in jfk looks like.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Image568just an example of some thoughts bouncing around in my head during my layover in jfk (part of the itinerary from hell, ya know).
“chili’s!!!!!?  there is a chili’s.  i am standing in front of a chili’s.  i am in america!  with chili’s!  okay, strawberry lemonade time.  why is a strawberry lemonade $5 here?!  oh, because this is new york.  and oh(!), because this is an airport.  and oookay, why did the girl behind me in line choose this time and place to announce to her friends that she is pregnant.  couldn’t she think of a place more fitting than the chili’s to-go line?  okay, now they are screaming.  oh! and squealing!  am i supposed to turn around and congratulate her?  oh.  this is when we pretend we don’t speak english! got it.”
“there is ice in my cup!!! there is ice in my strawberry lemonade!!! america, i love you!!!!!!!!  i’ve forgotten what it’s like to live in a country with ICE!!!”
“oh! these people are speaking polish! i wonder if they want me to count to ten and tell them the alphabet, followed by my listing all the fruits and vegetables!”
“that is, like, the 5th dunkin donut store i have seen in the past 4 minutes.  america, you’re just…you’re just somethin’ else.  you’re the best thing ever.”
“OH MY GOSH, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SMILING!!!  I think I’ll smile too, now!  AMERICA!!!!!!!”
“okay, where are the toilets….where are the toilets…..why does this airport not believe in toilets…..”
“oh!  ‘restrooms’ = ‘toilets’!!”
“outlet.  outlet.  we need an outlet.  why are there no outlets.  doesn’t this airport know i need to sit down and watch all 5 seasons of HIMYM?  what else am i going to do during this layover?”
“wow, that is the 3rd person who has bumped into me an then apologized for it!  america the beautiful, indeed!”
note: excluded from this re-cap is the time i used my calling card to call 7 people from a pay phone to announce my triumphant return.  ….and not one of them answered.  and then i called them all again! …and then none of them answered. 

also excluded is a young canadian man venting very passionately to me about his dissatisfaction with the obligatory custom forms, which began by him saying, “this must be new because i have NEVER had to do this”and continued with my saying to him, “well….i’ve always had to it when i come back into the country, so….i don’t really think it’s a new thing….ya know...”.  the conversation then proceeded with him saying, “no, this has never happened to me before.  why do i have to fill out this form?  what happens if i don’t fill it out?  what is the point of it? what will happen to me???” and me responding with “well…i don’t really work here, so…….i’m sorry about that” and then awkwardly looking away.

but did i mention yay america?!
kimbirdy said...

yay dunkin donuts!! :)

Alisha said...

You are adorable!! Thanks for the laugh at your expense. There's a Chili's in every airport I've been in. It's CRAZY! But, it's America. :) Glad you made it back safe.


Ashley said...

haha this is how i feel every time i go home to san francisco!! I see all of the things I've missed so dearly and get so excited!! I love your thoughts like they make me laugh because there very similar to mine when i'm in an airport. haha. Welcome home!! :)

nicole said...

pregnancy announcements in the line at chili's? welcome to america.

glad you made it home safe..many hours later :)

kate said...

ice! yes, i remember being thrilled for ice after being abroad for a few months.

oh, and love your bangs.

Emma Frances said...

Love this. I can imagine all of these thoughts running through your head. The pregnancy announcement is super random though!

Barbara said...

I still get a little thrill when I hear people speaking Polish in Aus. Especially because they don't know that I can understand what they're saying ;)

Becky | Apples of Gold said...

Haha! This is awesome. =) Now I know what to be grateful for: Dunkin Donuts, smiles, & ice. Got it!

Jan said...

Didn't I answer when you called?

Jeneric Generation said...

I will think of a more creative way to tell you I am pregnant. This blog post is one of my favs.

Rebecca said...

Interesting that you mentioned that people smiled in the airport and apologized for bumping in to you. While in Russia, I was reduced to tears by how rude people were. I kept saying to my family, "It's not my imagination, I KNOW Americans aren't this rude." Within 10 minutes of landing in Chicago, I was proven right. Boom. :)

Welcome back to America!! :)

Anonymous said...


the day i see ice in my cup i will fall over. and just as you mentioned, the day i see someone accidentally bump into me and say "excuse me", i will just die.

ohhhh what i wouldnt give to have 6 hours in america right now!

Unknown said...

Two days after being back in america (last time) I went to a restaurant with friends, and a waiter came and filled up a big mason jar with lots of water and ice without us asking.

Yes, totally normal...for Americans.

I was like "FREE WATER?!?!?" and got really excited.

I got even more excited when they came BACK and filled it up again, also without being asked. America is the land of the free...water, and it is beautiful. BEAUTIFUL.

Also, I am sorry that you have had such a crazy long traveling experience...layovers are the worst, especially six hour ones! jeez!

<3 Daryl
Roots, Wings, and Other Things.

Pretzel Thief said...

Hahah, awesome!

And OMG, I can't believe the lack of ice in Europe! I'm trying to remember the last time I was in Serbia and Croatia, thinking back...

I'm pretty sure they serve it in restaurants with soft drinks, et al, but as for buying it in plastic bags like in the US and here in Oz...yeah, probably not.

Anyway, have a blast!

Rachel Upshaw said...

At least you arent stuck at La Guardia for 6 hours. Auntie Anne's pretzels gets real old real fast (literally, that is the only thing in the Continental wing)

Alex said...

Yay America!!

sarah said...

“Oh! These people are speaking German! I wonder if they want me to count to twenty, sing Puff the Magic Dragon, tell them how many bracelets I am wearing and tell them that I can play the piano!"

Anonymous said...

OMG amen on the rude thing. when i lived in europe i could not believe how different it was. and the ice.....i'd forgotten what it was like.

i love this post, too! :)

xoxo jen

Taylor said...

this is hilarious :)

Brissa said...

mmmm. ice. more specifically, sonic ice. mmmm.

i love this post. i guess i never realized the little things i take for granted. like lemonade. lots and lots of lemonade with strawberries.

great post.

mandyface said...

Hahaha this post made me laugh so much! Proly bc I was stuck at the airport for a few hours this weekend too. Oh people watching, tis the best.

Abby said...

lol I love everything about this post. It is amazing the little things we miss when we are gone.

Jen said...

Haha I can totally relate to all of your thoughts above - and I've only spent weeks, not months or years, out of the country! I can't imagine how much more awesome it must be to come back after being gone for so long!

Unknown said...

haha omg i go nuts on layovers. but chilis, dunkins, ... oh america i love you. i love to OD on america on my last pit stops there too.

RetreatingAndAdvancing said...

You sound so happy! I've never been to America, but I will go as soon as possible!

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